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11 Tips Writing Wedding Vows

Wedding Vows Start with the traditional

Reciting traditional wedding vows is still perfectly acceptable. So look at those first. They can get you started on the kinds of things that people say to each other when they are getting married. Someone may have already written what you want to say. I have posted the vows that I have used with couples in the past from my tradition. Feel free to start with these.

Don’t let tradition limit you

Many couples are choosing to speak their own words, which can set a more intimate and personal tone for the ceremony. For those who fear speaking in public, writing vows and expressing personal feelings can be a bit scary, but most couples find overcoming their fear is worth it to ensure a memorable wedding.

Add a little Romance

Plan a romantic evening out together a day or two before writing your vows. Reminiscing about how you met, your first date, and special times you’ve shared together can help get your emotions flowing. Looking through photo albums or reading cards and letters your partner has sent you might also bring inspiration. In my premarital sessions I always encourage couples to write a love letter to each other. You can use this letter as an outline for your vows.

Spend some time alone

These are your vows to your finance on your wedding day. They are words that you want to share with them. So you need to get in touch with yourself to do that. So get alone and listen to romantic songs and write down your feelings and thoughts. Take some time to list the qualities and personality traits you love about your partner, what attracted you in the first place, what made you realize you were falling in love, and why you want to spend your life together.

Use whatever literary form fits you

Some couples believe they have to be poetic in writing vows. Nothing could be further from the truth. Simply stating your feelings about how you met, how your relationship has grown, and how much your partner means to you is preferable to memorizing poetry that may come off sounding phony or stiff. If you can pull off poetry great. But it is not mandatory.

Borrow from other sources

Check out a few books on how to write vows from the library or rent a few of your favorite romantic movies. Using a phrase from a film, song, poem, spiritual text or book won’t be corny if it’s meaningful in some way to you and your fiancé. Just be careful about using long passages or poems. You don’t want your guests to get bored while you’re reciting a sonnet.

Speak simply

Keep your sentences easy to understand. Talk the way you normally do. Use your love language. Avoid using very long phrases and stay away from words that may be difficult to pronounce when you are nervous. Use traditional words like love, honor, cherish, and respect as a starting reference and build sentences around them by putting your feelings for your partner into words. Make your vows sincere and avoid a long-winded recitation that sounds like a speech. Your vows should be short enough for you to remember most of it. It’s okay to glance at a note card while you say your vows, but try and avoid reading them.

Practice out loud

Practice your vows with a friend so that your partner will hear your words for the first time during the ceremony. Consider shortening sentences if they seem too long or change repetitive words. Speaking from your heart at the ceremony will come easier if you review your vows several times before the wedding.

Make them VOWS

Your wedding vows are a statement of your love and a time for promising commitment. They are not just about how you feel about each other. You are describing to each other the level of your commitment. If one partner is really uncomfortable writing vows, the other can help things along by writing some phrases both of you will repeat in the traditional manner, such as, “I will cherish, honor and love you, as long as we both shall live.” The groom would then repeat the same phrase, inserting the bride’s name. If you decide to use this method, keep the vows brief so your guests won’t get bored listening to a string of repeated phrases.

Show them to your officiant

When you have finished writing your vows, show them to the person who will be officiating at the ceremony. They may be able to help you smooth out awkward phrases or suggest alternate words that express what you are trying to say in a more romantic way.

Don’t worry about fumbling over words or crying

When you recite your vows you will be looking into your fiancé’s eyes. This will help ensure that your words are coming from the heart. It also means you may fumble or stumble over a word or forget a phrase due to nervousness, don’t panic. You may even cry. Don’t worry about it. It shows that you are really speaking form the heart. Just pause for a moment, breath and keep going. When you speak with love about how you feel about your partner and your future together, none of your guests will know you forgot a phrase or two.

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9 Wedding Vow Samples

Groom: According to God’s holy ordinance, I, (groom), take you, (bride), to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part, and thereto I pledge you my trust.

Bride: According to God’s holy ordinance, I, (bride), take you, (groom), to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part, and thereto I pledge you my trust.

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Groom: (Bride), I give you the rest of my life—as your husband, your lover, and your friend. I will be faithful to you.

Bride: (Groom), I give you the rest of my life—as your wife, your lover, and your friend. I will be faithful to you.

Together: I accept you as you are, and I expect you to grow with me as we live together, in good times and in bad times, in work and in play, in laughter and in tears, in listening and in speaking to one another. While we will experience sorrow and pain, as well as joy and laughter, all we experience will enter our life through the door of our love for each other. You have already made my life special. I love you, and look forward to being…

Groom: …. Your husband.

Bride: …. Your wife.

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Minister: (bride) and (groom), will you now hold hands and face each other. (Groom), please repeat this vow after me.

I, (groom’s full name) receive you, (bride’s full name) as a gift from God. I joyfully welcome you to become my partner, to love and to cherish from this day forward; in times of sorrow and in times of joy; in times of poverty and in times of prosperity; in times of sickness and in times of good health; to love, to honor, to respect, and to enjoy; until death shall separate us.

Minister: (bride), will you now repeat this vow after me.

I, (bride’s full name) receive you, (groom’s full name) as a gift from God. I joyfully welcome you to become my partner, to love and to cherish from this day forward; in times of sorrow and in times of joy; in times of poverty and in times of prosperity; in times of sickness and in times of good health; to love, to honor, to respect, and to enjoy; until death shall separate us.

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Minister: (groom), wilt thou have this woman to be thy wife, and wilt thou pledge thy troth to her, in all love and honor, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness, to live with her and cherish her, according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?

Groom: I will.

Minister: (bride), wilt thou have this man to be thy husband, and wilt thou pledge thy troth to her, in all love and honor, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness, to live with him and cherish him, according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?

Bride: I will.

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I, (groom), take thee, (bride), to be my wedded wife. And I do promise and covenant before God and these witnesses to be thy loving and faithful husband in plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

I, (bride), take thee, (groom), to be my wedded husband. And I do promise and covenant before God and these witnesses to be thy loving and faithful wife in plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

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The following vows may be spoken by either the bride or the groom, or by both to each other;

I love, (bride/groom), and I want to be your (husband/wife) and helpmate. In marriage, I promise to consider your interests and not merely my own. With divine assistance, I promise to show you love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I promise to communicate with you as openly and honestly as I can and will share with you my life, feelings, hopes, joys, frustrations, disappointments, anxieties, and dreams; and I will listen as you share with me. I will try to meet your needs and will respect your individuality as well as my own. I will work with you to build a lasting relationship of love and commitment for the glory and honor of God. I give myself freely to you, (bride/groom) for as long as we both shall live.

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Groom: I promise to love you, (bride), for the rest of our lives with all my heart and mind and strength. I promise to be faithful to you I thought, word and deed. I gladly accept the responsibilities, as well as the joys, of becoming your husband.

Bride: I promise to love you, (groom), for the rest of our lives with all my heart and mind and strength. I promise to be faithful t you in thought, word and deed. I gladly accept the responsibilities, as well as the joys, of becoming your wife.

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Minister: (Groom), in taking (bride) to be your wife, I require you to promise to love and cherish her, to honor and sustain her, in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in the bad that may darken your days, in the good that my brighten your ways, and to be true to her until death alone shall part you. Do you so promise?

Groom: I do.

Minister: (bride), in taking (groom), to be your husband, I require you to promise to love and cherish him, to honor and sustain him, in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in the bad that may darken your days, in the good that my brighten your ways, and to be true to him until death alone shall part you. Do you so promise?

Bride: I do.

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I take you, (name) to be my (wife/husband), loving you now and in your growing and becoming. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart; when life is peaceful and when it is in disorder; when I am proud of you and when I am disappointed in you; in times of leisure and in times of work. I will honor your goals and dreams and help you fulfill them. From the depth of my being, I will seek to be open and honest with you. I say these things believing that God is in the midst of them all.

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