Happy National Tell a Joke Day

#NationalTellAJokeDay

“Tell A Joke Day is a great day to lighten up and laugh it up! Not only is laughter great for the soul, it is also beneficial for our health. When times get hard, and we need help turning that frown upside down, a good joke will save the day! Laughter is also contagious, and the world can always use more smiles and laughter.” https://nationaltoday.com/national-tell-joke-day/

1. Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged?
   I hear they met on the web.
2. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
   Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
3. Two cannonballs got married this morning.
   I hear they’re already expecting BBs.
4. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
5. Did you hear about the bald man who married his comb?
   He promised, “I’ll never part with it!”
6. Grooms, once you get married, remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: “Yes, dear”.
7. It is true that love is blind?
   Because marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
8. Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married?
   The reception was terrific.
9. Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next!”
   They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
10. This couple was married for 67 years. I asked them that if, in all those years, had they ever thought of divorce.
    “Heavens no,” she replied. “Murder, yes. But never divorce.”

Think these are funny? There are a bunch more here.